nowinmyopinion

About Me

Things I love

Physical Media
Diet Coke
Movies
Word Searches
Music
Jeopardy
Miller High Life
Anthony Bourdain
Clocks
Sexual Deviants
Winners and Losers
Difficult People
Vintage Clothing
Dirty Martinis
Witches
Things I do not love

Brandy
New Car Smell
My Phone
Pretentious People
Artificial Intelligence
Cats (The Musical)
Charlatans
My Sister's Ex-Boyfriends 
Sunscreen Stickiness
Expensive Cocktails
Patriarchy
Memory Foam Mattresses
Things Stuck to My Feet
People Who Grew Up Skiing
Rudeness

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My CV (click to download)

FAQ

How old are you?

I was born with the world’s most unbelievable, fake ID birthday of 02/20/2000 in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. Pisces.

$25

Where did you go to school?

I’m still in school. I’m going to be in school forever. My pursuit of becoming a professor just entails school. Then more school. One day, once I’m all educated up and done being in school, I will work at one. And still be in school.

$2035

What does Mary order?

Falafel with Hot Sauce, a side order of Baba Ganoush, and a Seltzer, please? Hold the toothpick.

$5